One Overly Analytical Mother's Obsessive Musings about Raising Small Children

Friday, August 6, 2010

Shopping with Small Children: A Comedy of Errors

A friend is getting married on Saturday and I just realized that I have nothing to wear. Well, that's not true. Actually I have lots of things but they are not suitable for nursing a baby, who I'm bringing to the wedding (a fact about which I'm becoming increasingly anxious). I have lots of dresses but if I were to nurse, I'd basically have to disrobe in order to nurse. My husband suggests I just go to the car to nurse, but I really hate this idea. Why are nursing mothers always expected to hide in a dirty bathroom or car, to miss all the fun and feel like a recluse? This brings me to the topic of shopping with kids. I jaunted over to my local mall today with the intention of running in and out very quickly. Of course I had the two young kids, but I was desperate. There was just one store I'd stop by and I'd park in a place where I wouldn't have to walk by any toy or candy store en route to it. So far so good.

I made a quick pass around the store, scanning for dresses that might be suitable for nursing. At this point, I wasn't even looking at what the dress looked like, its colors, or if I even liked it. Was it suitable for nursing? Not a single one did the trick. So I did another pass for skirts and tops. What the heck--if I found a nice ensemble, I might be able to pull it off as wedding attire. It was at this time that I noticed my toddler boy doing the "potty dance." He was crossing his legs, grabbing his crotch, and hopping up and down, all at the same time. I asked him if he had to pee, and of course his answer was "no." It was then that I noticed that he didn't have to pee because he already had: he had wet himself. We hightailed it out of the dress shop for the nearest bathroom, where he used the toilet, and I pulled out the spare outfit I had stashed in my diaper bag. We all couldn't fit in the bathroom stall, so we just did the changeroo out in the open while others went about their business (Thank God he's still young enough to be uninhibited about his body!)

With new, dry clothes on, we returned to the dress shop. The baby was starting to get fussy so I just grabbed a skirt and top and tried to flag down a salesperson to open a fitting room for me. Once in the fitting room, I nursed the baby, and then put her down to walk around and get her wiggles out. I gave the toddler a gummy fruit snack, which kept him busy for all of sixty seconds. After ten minutes in the room, I finally got the chance to try on my clothes. The skirt fit great but it was wool (why didn't I realize that when I picked it up?), which wouldn't do for a summer wedding. The top didn't even match. It was a no go.

All told, we spent an hour and a half at the mall and I tried on one skirt and one top. One emergency trip to the bathroom, one outfit soaked through with urine, and several snacks down the line, we emerged happy but without the much-needed wedding outfit.

Better luck another day.


  1. Julie, I've had similarly funny experiences with my twins. Haven't posted in a while, but you can read some fun at

  2. Amanda,
    I bet you've had your share of these experiences too. Thanks for posting and sharing your blog with me. It looks great--I hope you get the change to write more but understand time's a precious commodity. --Julie